A moment of self reflection...

recently lead me to look harder at the aspects of my life which I still hide from. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are many aspects that have yet to rear their ugly heads, but I mean the parts that we are aware of that we simply and purposefully hide from. The parts that we know we need to address but actively push aside. Especially when we are "happy" and calm in most areas of our life. Yes, you know exactly what I am talking about.

We have this knowledge that whatever it is, is still very much present in our everyday lives but we consciously choose to ignore and not deal. For right now, I will refer to them as thorns.

These thorns no matter how small, no matter if there is one or multiple, they are annoying sometimes even painful. We know exactly where they, they are very present and pinpointing the exact location has never been a problem. So why is it so hard for us to strip them from the stem?

When we start to work on ourselves, we gain clarity and awareness. This clarity, this awareness comes with a responsibility that is often not talked about.

So let us dive in; the moment you make a conscious decision to heal you open the doors to possibilities, to gifts of self discovery, you are literally saying to the universe and to God Source that you want to change, you want to be better, do better, think better, live better and be happier. How do we gain all of this?

Through hard work and introspection.

You can not reap without sowing. What are you sowing during this time? We are sowing; tears, reflection, shadow work, identifying the things that we did to contribute to unhealthy relationships, forgiveness, grief, surrender, acceptance, and lots of self love.

Through that journey, through that work, through the many nights of anguish and dispraise, through the times you literally scream "that's enough, I'm done!", through the fire, that is you prepare yourself to reap.

Once you have made it to the other side, you are now ready to reap to receive and that is when responsibility is given to us. You see once you go through this process, you have opened a box, you can not stuff everything back in and boy will there be times you will want to.

Responsibility refers to the quality of being accountable or reliable for one's actions, decisions, and obligations. It involves fulfilling commitments in a reliable and trustworthy manner. It plays a crucial role in shaping individual character. Whether you want it or not,

now you have a responsibility not only to yourself but also to the world.

You see, during this self reflection I realized I was failing at my responsibilities to continue to grow inward, evolve in my own healing journey, and even the willingness to admit when there was something wrong.

How can I tell my clients, friends and family to face their hardest truths while avoiding some of my own. We must continue to work on ourselves and continue to be students of life . Healing is not linear and it looks different for everyone however healing is never over. It is a continuous journey as we experience new things in life, new emotions, encounter new people, and places. What changes is our ability to feel through it, sit with it, and process.

So, I must practice what I preach. I have a responsibility to myself, so as I sit with it and self reflect, I choose to understand why certain things are triggering me. Why the feeling of insecurity is coming up for me in this present moment. Through this reflection, I uncover why I have been trying to hide my worry and anxiety which has robbed me of the peace I worked so hard to reach.

In full transparency, I have been going through a divorce and after grieving the end of this marriage I realize that my self limiting beliefs surrounding income and finances has been creeping back. The inner work I have done has helped me identify this as a recurring belief that comes when I struggle to keep everything together or "in control". A feeling I am all to familiar with.

For me this can look like extreme "hustle mode", saying yes to all opportunities out of fear of missing one or ruining a professional relationship, more work, less time for myself, overactive thinking, desires to run away from it all, people pleasing, and tension in my neck, shoulders and upper back.

Once I took the time to sit in the quiet, reflect, identify, and accept. Clarity came. I can not control external factors. I do however have the ability to choose to let go of the thoughts of scarcity and financial burden to make space in my mind and life for new ideas, creativity, love, and open myself up to opportunities that align with my ethics and integrity. When I chose to do that, the fear dissipated, allowing me to move instead of remaining stuck.

Providing myself to feel and let go has been one of the best super powers I have gained through my healing journey. We have to feel all the emotions we are so lucky to get to feel. I actively feel and then let go. Once in a while we forget and that is where our awareness of the responsibility starts to hit us.

All of us need a friendly reminder, so this is your reminder that no matter where you are in your journey take the time to self reflect, you owe it to yourself.

With love,

Brenda